October 2010
1 post
Hi Charlotte, Fred and I had dinner with Ron after the play last weekend and he gave us both a copy of your book. Thank you! I opened it up this morning while eating breakfast and read the whole book in one sitting. It’s great! Written with insight, humor, honesty and love. I found myself completely engaged in it. I plan to give copies to several of my friends who I know will benefit from...
September 2010
4 posts
I am going to read it again!
Dear Charlotte,
How great is this book! I am going to read it again. I am going to read it again.
I loved all of the explanations of the causes of Alzheimer’s. I never had thought about other illnesses harboring Alzheimer’s disease.
Your book is easy to read. The gems about care of any Alzheimer’s patients were helpful. Getting into the Alzheimer’s patients’ world...
Thank you for sharing your story with its insights...
Dear Charlotte,
Your book arrived yesterday, and I was so happy to receive it. I had happened on the book website way back in the summer and was deeply moved to hear your story regarding your mom and her journey, and you and your sister’s journey along side of hers.
I read a few pages of the book late last evening and quickly see why it is an exceptional offering amidst so many other...
... Deeply moving
Dear Charlotte and Virginia:
Thank you for your book. From the beginning with Greek mythology references, I found it both educational, interesting, and very personal. It is in fact, deeply moving.
Kathryn would be very proud and pleased.
I grieve with your pain but rejoice with your joy. She is herself, at peace with God, and united with Happy!
I’m now giving my book to our pastoral care...
What a wonderful tribute to your mother ...
Dear Charlotte,
Thank you for the copy of your book. What a wonderful tribute to your mother and your relationship!
Jan
August 2010
5 posts
"I took comfort in the beautifully told story of...
Experiences, feelings and expressions so closely parallel the road I am currently traveling. I took comfort in the beautifully told story of love and acceptance.
Thank you so much.
"I will always remember your mother as happy."
Charlotte & Ginger,
I will always remember your mother as happy — this because both of you gave her love and maximum care. Thanks for letting me be a small part of her care.
Natalie
UT Southwestern
... Perhaps the bliss also stemmed from the...
Dear Charlotte and Ginger,
When Mother called me this morning to tell me Kathryn had died, I turned to your book, “Return to Joy’” to help relieve my sadness. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing your insights.
Particularly comforting to me was the idea that Kathryn’s dementia had brought you new forms of closeness and that Kathryn had spent her last years in...
Sharing Our Joy
My mother, Kathryn Parker, spent the last two decades of her life living in a reality of her own. She experienced all ranges of emotions in response to things only she could hear and see while my sister, my husband her care givers and I vacillated in our understandings of how to “deal” with her. We argued with her. We demanded that she understand how things really were. We wore...
Along with Thomas Moore, this book did "stir my...
Dear Charlotte,
Along with Thomas Moore, Return to Joy did “stir my heart,” well as enhance my understanding of my husband with Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases, and refreshed and renewed my spirit in care giving.
Not only did I find “one little useful thing,” but many useful perceptions, ideas and daily tips. Thank to both you and your sister for your...
December 2009
4 posts
4 tags
On God, Beer Bellies and Bald Heads
By Beatriz Terrazas
During church today, two things became apparent about my mother. One is that the sapping of my strength seems to be inversely proportional to her energy. That is, the more depleted I am, the more energy she has. And the more energy she has, the more she seems to focus it on things I simply don’t understand. Second, although she looks forward to church on Sundays, she’s losing...
4 tags
At the Bottom of the Escalator
By Beatriz Terrazas
My mother and I stepped on the escalator at the El Paso International Airport as we’ve done lots of times before. Then I heard someone screaming — screeching actually — “Help! Help!” It happened so fast that I didn’t realize at first that sound was coming from my throat. Maybe because I was suddenly living a nightmare, and usually in my nightmares my legs freeze and I can’t...
6 tags
The Playground Fairy
By Beatriz Terrazas
I’m in El Paso to get my mom and take her back to Dallas with me. Several times since my arrival she has asked me what my name is, a sure sign that the dementia is progressing. That she sometimes does not recognize me boggles my mind. I am made of her blood and bone, yet there are moments when she looks in my face and sees a stranger. I hope that she sees me as a kind...
Thank you for a Wonderful Book Signing Event!
Thank you to Elyse Short for a wonderful book signing event! Each of the women in attendance touched our hearts and demonstrated exactly why the writing of this book was essential in the journey with my mother.
We look forward to our return to Whitney, Texas on December 15th at the Whitney Public Library.
With Joy and Thanks,
Charlotte Parker
November 2009
1 post
7 tags
Despite Alzheimer’s, Nobel Prize Winner Has Grace
By Beatriz Terrazas
Charles Kao Kuen, who was awarded the Nobel Prize for physics, has Alzheimer’s Dementia. I first read about it in an Alzheimer’s newsletter I receive via e-mail. And my first thought was that journalists must have found out about his illness and leaked the news. But no, after searching for stories about this I found that the Nobel Laureate and his wife were both quoted in...
October 2009
1 post
6 tags
Book Signing Event-Saturday, October 31
September 2009
4 posts
6 tags
Nursing Home Life
By Beatriz Terrazas
The New York Times has a great story about a University of New England program that allows future doctors to experience life in a nursing home firsthand. They are “assigned” an illness or condition and then they live in the home for several days as if they were really afflicted with that illness. They do this as part of their medical training.
According to the story, most...
1 tag
Is Your Loved One Close to Her Caregivers?
By Beatriz Terrazas
There’s a new study out by researchers at John Hopkins and Utah State University that suggests Alzheimer’s patients benefit from having a close relationship with their caregivers (September 2009’s The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences). This intimacy seems to directly correlate to the progression of the disease. In essence, the...
Did I Do Everything Right?
By Beatriz Terrazas
My mom left yesterday in the company of my sister and aunt, and as always, there was a deep and immediate dive in my spirits: The house is too quiet. It’s too big for just two people. One of the dogs refused to eat. Did she miss them, too? It’s not just my mother’s absence that contributes to the way I feel. The other big factor is that I immediately begin the...
When I Get Old I Will ...
By Beatriz Terrazas
When my mother-in-law was well we used to tease her, saying she should have had her own consumer TV show. Need a pan a certain size? A blouse in that precise shade of blue? You’d only have to call her and within a couple of hours she could tell you which stores in your area had it, how much it was, and whether the Sunday paper had a coupon that would save you another 20...
August 2009
5 posts
Holding On, Letting Go
By Beatriz Terrazas
My legs and lungs are on fire. The studio ride to which I subject myself several times a week has me sweating and puffing. Strangely, it has also caused a lump in my throat, one that feels suspiciously like backed-up tears. The physical duress I understand. But this other thing, well, that’s new. And weird. Often now, in the middle of the ride, I want to stop the pedals on the...
The Absence of Things Unknown
By Beatriz Terrazas
It finally happened. Last night, I arrived at her house after long flight delays, and my mother, who had been waiting for me, didn’t know who I was. She beamed at me with that smile reserved for people she thinks she knows, or should remember, but doesn’t. No panic on my end; but I grasped at reasons like so many proverbial straws.
It was because we were late; airline...
What Will It Be, The Person or the Stuff?
By Beatriz Terraz
I’ve had better days.
I spent yesterday morning surreptitiously reorganizing Mom’s closet and throwing out the ripped-up and mended and re-mended sweatpants that are all she will wear now. I’m not exaggerating when I say that to try to get her to wear something besides these has serious catastrophic results. She becomes agitated, freaks out: What if it’s windy? What if it’s...
The Shape of a Mother
When one of my dear friend’s mother died a couple of years ago, she tried to describe the resulting void. It was, she said, as if the rug had been pulled out from under her feet — the rug of her entire life. How could she possibly go on when everything in her life had been turned upside down by the death of the person who birthed, reared and influenced her the most? I suppose that’s probably true...
My Mom the Strip-Tease
By Beatriz Terrazas
I thought I’d seen it all when John and I took his mother to the movies once while she was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. We were waiting for her to exit the ladies’ room when I saw her coming toward us with a maxi pad — yes, a white maxi pad — adhered to the outside and front of her pants. Naturally I rushed over and gently but firmly ushered her back into the bathroom...
July 2009
2 posts
What a Difference a Day Makes
By Beatriz Terrazas
So, the day after Mom’s now infamous undressing in Warren and Steve’s yard, we dared to return to the pool. This time, she was thoroughly coached beforehand in what not to do after climbing out of the water. Mom and my aunt swam for two hours, with Mom floating peacefully and thoroughly enjoying the water. Afterward, we all pitched in to enjoy a dinner of pork roast, potato...
The Shape of a Mother
By Beatriz Terrazas
When one of my dear friend’s mother died a couple of years ago, she tried to describe the resulting void. It was, she said, as if the rug had been pulled out from under her feet — the rug of her entire life. How could she possibly go on when everything in her life had been turned upside down by the death of the person who birthed, reared and influenced her the most? I suppose...
May 2009
8 posts
Mi gran anhelo
Repost with permission by mymothersbrain
I’m having an identity crisis, I told my friend over lunch. I need to work, but I can’t work, not full-time anyway, when I’m having to travel back and forth to the border to help care for Mom. My problem, I explained, is not solely about earning money; it goes beyond the financial issues. It’s that when the bylines and credits and paychecks get few and far...
Dementia Denial
By Beth Ryan
Dementia is a sneaky predator that creeps into the mind so slowly it is easy to deny that it exists at all. Short term memory loss, an early symptom of both dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, is often dismissed as a normal aspect of aging. An individual with dementia may even assert that it is not she who is confused but rather the other person. How do loved ones and doctors...
Meet Author Charlotte Parker This Sunday!
Don’t miss Charlotte Parker this weekend at Autumn Leaves of Mckinney. She will be speaking on the 5 Cs of Compassionate Caregiving and reading excerpts from her forthcoming book, Return to Joy: A Family’s Inititaion into the Mysteries of Dementia.
Where: Autumn Leaves of McKinney 175 Plateau Drive McKinney (Director, Rachael Morgan Contact # 1-972-542-0606)
When: 2pm to 4pm
2 tags
Desdentada: new word for today
Posted with permission by Beatriz Terraz
Beatriz Terraz’s Mom, 2009.
“Mi molachita,” I call her, my little toothless one, because of the increasing gaps in her smile. It’s my way of making light of something that pains me deeply: the broken teeth in her mouth. The word doesn’t bother her at all — she giggles when I call her that. Actually, the correct Spanish word for someone who has no...
2 tags
Mother’s Day 2009
Posted by permission My Mother’s Brain: Love in the Time of Dementia
By Beatriz Terrazas
For Mother’s Day, we had dinner with my mother-in-law at the dementia residence where she now lives. Meals with her now in essence mean eating in concert: a bite of chicken and vegetables for her, a bite for you, a bite for her, a bite for you. It can be tricky, and you end up more focused on whether...
Don't Miss This Great New HBO Special
The Alzheimer’s Project Debut’s Tonight on HBO
May 10, 2009, 05:00 PM | by Christine Spines
Categories: Television
HBO’s latest documentary series, The Alzheimer’s Project, was executive-produced by Maria Shriver, whose father, Sargent Shriver, has struggled with the disease since being diagnosed in 2003. Interestingly enough, both Shriver and many of HBO’s most...
5 tags
10 Things to Know About Alzheimer’s
Share Your Joy ...
Has your life been change by a loved one’s dementia or Alzheimer’s? Through the many challenges of caring for someone with this disease, there can also be moments of humor and tenderness. We want to hear your stories. Please share your stories of love and joy at info@returntojoythebook.com
April 2009
5 posts
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Take Action
By 2030, the elderly population is expected to reach an all time high of 71 million people—one in every five Americans will be elderly. It stands to reason our future mental health, and the mental health of the elderly currently in our lives, should be on the forefront of our lifestyle choices. We must accept this reality, educate ourselves and talk to our own physicians regarding preventative...
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Share Your Joy ...
Miracle Workers
The Power of Pet Therapy
By Beth Ryan A perceptible interruption of the laws of nature, divine intervention, the action of a supernatural being, hence a miracle. Animals are making a divine intervention with Alzheimer’s and dementia patients across the country. Pet Therapy is becoming an increasingly popular antidote to those patients who suffer from cognitive impairment and...
4 tags
Share Your Joy ...
The Little Boy with a Big Heart By Beth Ryan He loves pizza, he colors and makes crafts, he fills Easter baskets and plays games. He enjoys playing with his friends and calls them all by name. His messy brown hair, long eyelashes, and crooked smile make him irresistible. His freckles and untied shoelaces tell he is only five-years-old. Like many children his age, his favorite place to be is with...
8 tags
The Demented Mind is Not a Wasted Mind
By Beth Ryan
What do fantasy author Sir Terry Pratchett, actress Rita Hayworth, Roman Catholic Cardinal Raul Silva Henriquez, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Boxer Sugar Ray Robinson and artist Norman Rockwell all have in common? They are known for their brilliant minds, universal leadership, setting into motion events that gave mankind hope and confidence. But there is one other common thread...
8 tags
Listen to ... End of Life Care in America, A...
Fresh Air from WHYY, April 2, 2009
Listen to emergency room physician and author, Robert Martensen, MD as he shares with Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air his new book, A Life Worth Living: A Doctor’s Reflections on Illness in a High-Tech Era.
Dr. Robert Martensen has held positions teaching bioethics and medical history at Harvard Medical School and Tulane University in New...
March 2009
1 post
4 tags
Share Your Joy ...
By Beth Ryan
Grandparents, how grand they truly are. I think of my grandparents often. Being the closest to my maternal set, ultimately sharing a bond and a relationship that I am now sharing with my grandson. After my grandfather’s death in the late 60s, heartbreak, depression, sadness and ultimately poor health ensued for my grandmother. She was old, right? She was suppose to act old, look old,...